Helping parents with a blue heart of gold
November 9, 2023 at 1:30 a.m.
Every Thursday morning, from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., a collective of parents meets at the All Souls Community Center at 55 Parkway Dr., formerly known as All Souls Parish.
The group, mostly consisting of Hispanic mothers, come together to support each other through what is a common reality in their lives—having a child with some form of disability that requires accommodation by their school.
The Blue Heart Forever Project (BHFP) was founded in 2017 by Lynda De Gómez, who also serves as director of the parent support group. It’s helped dozens of families throughout its six-year existence, working with other community groups in Port Chester to do so, and is now being recognized for its members’ work by a New York state senator.
And De Gómez sits at the heart of it all.
A Poningo Street resident, she started the organization shortly after her own son, Julio, a current 12-year-old, was diagnosed with autism.
“When we started the process (of getting him into school), we didn’t have any group to support us,” De Gómez recalled. “And what little information we could find in the library or somewhere else was in English.”
Though she is fluent in the language, she recognized that the lack of Spanish materials could create a steep barrier to critical information for many, especially in the Port Chester community.
“There are a lot of things that one would understand better in their own language,” she said. Because she herself feels more comfortable speaking Spanish, she realized that others in similar situations might struggle in both navigating the system they would need to for their child and coming to terms with the circumstances in general.
“What takes a lot of effort is just getting some parents to accept their child’s diagnosis,” De Gómez said. “They can be frustrated and not know what to do, and that’s made worse if there isn’t someone to help guide them.”
The BHFP aims to help parents navigate what may be unfamiliar territory for them.
“At the start, it can be difficult,” she said. “You have to look for and find what help and programs they need from the school, what types of treatment a kid needs, and sometimes it’s just hard to figure out where exactly you have to go to find these things.”
The BHFP assists parents with that, guiding them to personnel and offices that they need to see, translating forms that must be filled out if needed and helping them understand the special education services at their school.
In the course of their work, De Gómez organizes information sessions for parents and invites a representative from the Port Chester School District, such as Director of Special Education Tatiana Memoli, to discuss what programming looks like. It also offers a chance for parents to ask questions and provide feedback.
“It’s so satisfying to see that,” she said.
The BHFP has made it onto the radar of the district, with even Superintendent Dr. Aurelia Henriquez attending meetings. On top of offering resources for parents, the support group holds events for their children.
They’ve held events with the Port Chester Fire Department to promote fire safety, backpack drives and holiday events. But De Gómez was quick to note that the occasions cater to a very specific group of people.
For example, the events hosted by the BHFP don’t have bright lights or loud music. “Not all of our kids would feel uncomfortable if there were those things, but if we have 10 and there’s even just one, we don’t want them to feel unwelcome,” De Gómez said. Though they don’t just look to accommodate children with special needs.
“We try to help everyone,” she said. "We donate diapers, clothes and baby food to mothers who need them. We work with The Sharing Shelf to provide clothes, jackets and backpacks.”
The BHFP strives to support all types of families, and their work has not gone unnoticed.
On Oct. 19, De Gómez and the BHFP were presented with a New York State Empire Award by State Senator Shelley Mayer. The award recognizes organizations that improve lives in their local communities. De Gómez said that she’s happy to have received it, but she’s not going to get complacent with her work.
While she’s not in any rush, De Gómez would like to see the group become a non-profit organization.
“The community already believes in us and has seen what we can do,” she said. “I don’t think we need it, but I’d like to achieve it to get more access to resources.”
Before tackling non-profit status, however, she’s dedicated to focusing on working with the 55 families that are currently a part of the BHFP. Her primary way of doing that is by making their weekly meetings a place for parents to decompress and socialize, by giving them a space where they can connect with other parents in similar situations. De Gómez is a firm believer that the first step to helping kids is by supporting their parents.
“If the parents are doing well, that moves down onto the child,” De Gómez said. “If the parent is under stress, any kid can perceive that, and it transmits to them.”
In creating and running the BHFP, De Gómez is doing what she can to relieve parents, and kids, from as much weight as possible.
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